What Is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a universal yet deeply personal experience that arises when our social connections feel insufficient. It's not just about being alone; loneliness stems from a gap between the relationships we desire and those we actually have. While everyone feels lonely at some point, it remains a distressing and often misunderstood emotion.

Recent research highlights that loneliness is subjective—one can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. It's shaped not just by our relationships but also by how we think about and interpret our social situations. This perspective helps us understand why loneliness affects people differently and can offer insights into coping with it.

1. Types and Measurement:Different forms of loneliness and how they are assessed.
2. Manifestations:How loneliness appears in our emotions and behaviors.
3. Causes:Life events and social factors that lead to loneliness.
4. Cognitive Influences:The mental processes that shape our experience of loneliness.
5. Reactions to Others' Loneliness:How people respond to loneliness in those around them.
6. Coping Strategies:Ways to manage and alleviate loneliness.

Understanding these aspects can help us navigate and address loneliness, not just in ourselves but in others too.

Forms and Measurement of Loneliness

Forms of Loneliness

• Positive and Negative Loneliness:Loneliness can benegative(loneliness anxiety) orpositive(existential loneliness), which, while painful, can foster self-growth.
• Temporal Loneliness:Loneliness may beshort-term, linked to events like moving, orchronic, becoming a persistent trait.
• Types of Social Deficiency:
  • Emotional Loneliness:A lack of close, intimate relationships.
  • Social Loneliness:Feeling disconnected from a community or group.
  • Resigned Loneliness:Passively accepting social isolation as unavoidable.

Measuring Loneliness

TheUCLA Loneliness Scaleis the most widely used tool for measuring loneliness. It asks respondents to reflect on statements like "I lack companionship" and measures loneliness as a distinct concept, separate from depression or anxiety.

This scale has been instrumental in identifying the unique impacts of loneliness on individuals, especially in groups at higher risk, such as divorced adults or those seeking social skills help.

Manifestations of Loneliness

Affective Manifestations

Loneliness is an inherentlyunpleasantexperience linked to emotions like dissatisfaction, anxiety, boredom, and depression. Research shows that lonely individuals often feel tense, restless, and self-enclosed, with a generallynegative outlookon life.

Motivational and Cognitive Manifestations

Loneliness can motivate social interactions despite anxiety or lead to feelings of apathy and hopelessness. Lonely individuals may be highlyself-conscious, vigilant about relationships, and struggle withfocus and concentration.

Behavioral Manifestations

Behaviors associated with loneliness include signs of anxiety or depression,lack of assertiveness, and difficulty expressing feelings of loneliness. There is still much to learn about whether these behaviors form distinct patterns of loneliness.

Social and Medical Problems

Loneliness is linked to an increased risk ofsuicide, illness, and overuse of medical services. It is also associated with social issues likepoor academic performance, delinquency, and maladaptive behaviors.

Antecedents of Loneliness

The possible antecedents of loneliness are numerous, and it is useful to distinguish events that precipitate the onset of loneliness from factors that predispose individuals to become lonely or to persist in being lonely over time.

Based on our definition of loneliness, precipitating events may be broadly categorized into changes in a person's achieved social relations and changes in a person's desired or expected social relations. Predisposing factors include the usual quantity and quality of one's social relationships, characteristics of the individual (e.g., personality, physical attributes), and more general characteristics of a given situation or culture. Predisposing variables are typically enduring aspects of the person's situation.

Changes in Achieved Social Relations

Termination

The ending of a close emotional relationship is a common cause of loneliness. For example, widowhood and divorce have been associated with loneliness by several researchers. Hill et al. (1976) also find that the breakup of dating relationships is accompanied by feelings of loneliness and depression.

Physical Separation

In a mobile society, separation from family and friends is a common occurrence. Moving to a new community, going away to university, or spending extended periods in institutions such as hospitals or prisons all affect social relationships. While such loneliness passes quickly for many people, others may struggle longer with the adjustment.

Status Change

Changes in an individual’s position within a group or organization can impact interaction with others. Examples include promotion, retirement, or the "empty nest" syndrome experienced by parents when children leave home.

Changes in Desired Social Relations

Developmental Changes

Age-related changes in a person's capacities and desire for social relations may precipitate loneliness. For instance, midlife might prompt people to cultivate friendships and focus more on community activities.

Situational Changes

A person's desire to be with others fluctuates frequently depending on tasks, settings, or mood. For example, holidays and seasonal changes can influence feelings of loneliness.

Changes in Expectations

Expectations about future social contact can also play a role. Unrealistic expectations, such as quickly forming friendships in new situations, can increase loneliness.

The Quantity and Quality of Social Contacts

Loneliness is influenced by both the quantity and quality of social contacts. For example, lonely individuals may have fewer close friends and report dissatisfaction with existing relationships.

Personal Factors Contributing to Loneliness

Shyness

Shyness, defined as the tendency to avoid social interactions and to fail to participate appropriately, can significantly contribute to loneliness. Shy individuals may avoid social risks, leading to fewer meaningful relationships.

Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is strongly correlated with loneliness. Individuals with low self-esteem may blame themselves for social difficulties, which reinforces feelings of isolation.

Social Skills

Lack of social skills can hinder relationship-building, increasing the likelihood of loneliness. Lonely individuals may struggle with making friends, introducing themselves, and participating in social activities.

Demographic Characteristics

Loneliness can be influenced by gender, marital status, income, and age. For instance, loneliness tends to be more prevalent among widowed and divorced individuals than those who are married.

Cultural and Situational Factors Contributing to Loneliness

Cultural Values

Values emphasizing competition and individualism may increase loneliness, as they conflict with human needs for community and connection.

Social Norms

Expectations and norms for social relationships affect loneliness. For example, high school students may feel lonelier when alone on weekends compared to weekdays due to societal expectations for social activity during weekends.

Situational Constraints

Physical proximity and other situational factors also play a role in loneliness. For instance, isolated housing units may limit opportunities for social interaction, leading to increased loneliness.

Cognitive Processes That Modulate the Loneliness Experience

Labelling

Labelling loneliness can be influenced by cultural beliefs and language. For instance, some cultures lack specific terms for loneliness, while others have distinct words for different types of loneliness. These differences affect how individuals recognize and describe their emotions.

Causal Attributions

People seek to understand the causes of their loneliness. These attributions can be internal or external, stable or unstable, and controllable or uncontrollable. For example, blaming loneliness on a stable, internal cause like low self-esteem can lead to feelings of hopelessness, while attributing it to an external, temporary situation like moving to a new city may promote optimism.

Consequences of Attributions

Internal attributions can lower self-esteem and increase feelings of inadequacy. Stable attributions often lead pessimism about the future, while controllable causes allow for potential solutions and better coping strategies.

Antecedents of Attributions

Lonely people are more likely to make internal attributions if they feel lonely across various situations, believe others are not lonely in similar circumstances, and experience loneliness consistently over time. This can lead to feelings of isolation and the false belief that their loneliness is unique.

Social Comparison

Comparing one's social success to that of peers can influence feelings of loneliness. For instance, a student who perceives others as more successful at making friends may feel a deeper sense of isolation.

Perceived Control

Having control over social interactions can mitigate loneliness. Studies show that people who can predict or choose their social engagements feel less lonely than those with no control, even if the amount of interaction time is the same.

In summary, loneliness is not just a product of social deficits but also a result of how individuals perceive, label, and react to their social circumstances. Understanding these cognitive processes is key to addressing loneliness effectively.

How People React to Loneliness in Others

When people become lonely, their friends and acquaintances may react in various ways. These reactions can either alleviate or perpetuate loneliness. While some may offer warmth and compassion, others might reject or avoid the lonely person, making their situation worse.

Stereotypes of Lonely People

Lone individuals are often stereotyped as unattractive, self-absorbed, and untrustworthy. These negative perceptions make it difficult for them to seek help or express their loneliness to others.

Normative Factors

Social norms dictate when people deserve sympathy. Reactions may be more supportive when the loneliness is caused by situations like a recent loss, but negative reactions are more likely when the reasons for loneliness are unclear or prolonged.

Cost-Reward Considerations

Interacting with lonely individuals can be challenging if they are anxious or self-focused, which may make social interaction feel burdensome. However, positive reactions can occur when the lonely person is high status or when there is a pre-existing relationship.

Attributional Factors

Reactions to loneliness depend on how others attribute the cause of loneliness. Sympathy is greater when the individual is seen as having little control over their situation and making efforts to overcome it.

Personality Factors

Some people are naturally more empathetic and respond better to lonely individuals. Those who have experienced loneliness themselves or who have an androgynous or feminine self-concept tend to react more positively to lonely individuals.

In summary, others' reactions can either exacerbate or alleviate loneliness. Negative stereotypes and rejections can worsen the condition, while positive reactions and support can help reduce it.

Coping with Loneliness

Coping with loneliness can be categorized into three main strategies: changing the desired level of social contact, achieving higher levels of social contact, and minimizing the perceived gap between desired and achieved contact.

Changing Desired Level of Social Contact

• Adaptation: Over time, people adjust their expectations and become less lonely as their situation changes.
• Task Choice: Choosing activities to enjoy alone, like reading, helps avoid loneliness.
• Changed Standards: Some people lower their standards for friendships and become open to forming relationships with different kinds of people.

Achieving Higher Levels of Social Contact

Building or improving relationships can reduce loneliness. Examples include joining clubs, initiating conversations, and improving one's attractiveness. Expanding one’s social network is key to overcoming loneliness.

Minimizing the Gap Between Desired and Achieved Social Contact

• Denial: Some deny the discrepancy between their desired and achieved levels of social contact.
• Devaluation: Others rationalize their loneliness by claiming it is not important or that it’s a "positive growth experience".
• Gratification of Needs: Some may find non-social ways to boost their self-esteem.
• Alleviating Negative Impact: Engaging in behaviors like drinking may temporarily mask loneliness but typically worsen it in the long run.

Therapeutic Interventions

Interventions should be tailored to individual needs. For instance, a shy person may need help with social skills, while a recent widow may require emotional support. Effective interventions should address both personal and situational causes of loneliness.

Conclusion

To effectively cope with loneliness, it is crucial to consider both individual strategies and broader societal factors that contribute to isolation, such as mass loneliness or challenges faced by specific groups like new students or the elderly.

This review has examined various aspects of loneliness, from its definition and causes to its emotional effects and the ways it can be alleviated. We have also explored how cognitive factors influence reactions to social isolation and how others respond to lonely individuals.

Loneliness as a Research Topic

Loneliness is a widespread and unpleasant experience, linked to various social issues such as juvenile delinquency, alcohol abuse, and suicide. Although the research on loneliness is relatively small, it is flourishing. Researchers have developed useful theoretical concepts and data collection tools to study loneliness. While manipulating loneliness experimentally poses ethical challenges, alternative research strategies have been successful, helping psychologists learn how to alleviate loneliness.

Conclusion

Despite the advances in loneliness research, many important questions remain unanswered. The study of loneliness has evolved, and it is now firmly established as a key topic in social science research.